Guess what? It's story time!


Once upon a time, when I was in second grade, I had a best friend named Mister (that's not his real name, but we will call him Mister). Mister and I were pretty good friends. Good enough to be called "best friends." We had assigned seats, and we always were assigned to desks near each other, the entire year. I have no idea why, though. We were always talking and messing around and laughing our asses off. I got in trouble so many times (minor infractions), but I loved every minute of sitting next to Mister.

July arrived and I hadn't seen Mister since the end of May, when the school year ended. I when to my mother and asked her if I could see Mister at our town's festival the next weekend. She said that was fine, and promptly hunted Mister's house telephone number out of the phone book. I remember waiting in my room for her to finish talking to Mister's mother, then picking up the pink Hello Kitty phone and talking to Mister myself. I asked him if he wanted to go with me to the festival and he said no. I hung up and probably cried. I don't really remember. I do know I was upset though. However, I quickly got over it. We never really talked after that.

Fast-forward to the end of sophomore year, I had a class with Mister then I guess, I don't really remember. Somehow, another kid named Luke said to me "Yeah, well at least I didn't ask Mister out in the second grade!" to me. I looked at him with big eyes and a gaping mouth and after a few seconds said, "What?!"

Luke said, "Yeah, you asked Mister out in the second grade!"

I said, "Oh my god, no I didn't." Now I had turned to Mister and was talking to him. "I called you to ask if you wanted to hang out with me at the festival! We were best friends! I never liked you like that!" You could actually see the realization settle in on his face. Yeah, he knew he fucked up.

The first semester of junior year, Mister sat behind me in math class. I had as much fun as I remember having in second grade, when we were best friends. We would draw pictures in his notebook and blab when we had finished homework that we'd done together. He really helped me. I suck(ed) at math.

Now, the time that Mister and I were juniors, my sister and his girlfriend were freshman. His girlfriend, whom we will call RB, approached my sister during the school day, and told her, "Your sister better stay away from my boyfriend. I saw all those stupid Moose drawings in his notebook." Then she proceeded to threaten me or something like that.

Now, I thought that was the dumbest thing ever. First off, they were drawings. Secondly, we only talked during math class. That's it. Thirdly, it was obvious that I had no romantic interest in him. None. I didn't really take it seriously though, what RB said. I wasn't (and still am not) afraid of her. Plus, it wasn't like I was doing anything wrong. I was talking to him. I was his friend before he even knew she was alive!

The second semester of junior year, he was still in my math class, but didn't sit near me. I think we talked once. I sat by myself and did a lot worse then the previous semester. Mister would say hi to me in the hallways, in his usual goofy way, but I would only look at him. RB was always with him and glaring daggers at me.

Once again, it's nearly July and I hadn't seen Mister since school had gotten out and I hadn't given that fact any thought at all until the other day.

At the skate park where I work, one Saturday a month, we stay open until midnight. I work down in the skate area, which is separate from concessions and everything else. A lot of middle school girls show up in the skate park, trying to gawk at all the boys that skate, resulting in a lot of people in the skate area. My boss set up a rule a while ago that states "If you have no wheels, you can't be in the skate area," so I end up kicking a lot of fluttery little girls back into the other part of the park. Well, halfway through the night, guess who shows up?

That's right. Mister and RB. Together with another friend, the friend being the only one of them with a skateboard. Mister said "Hi" to me. I just gave him a half-assed smile and walked away. A few minutes later, Mister and RB populated the picnic table I set up and proceed to mildly rape each other through their clothing as their friend skated. A few kids complained to me, so I said something to them.

"Please stop with the P.D.A. There are young kids in here."

RB: "We can do whatever we want."

"I'm sorry, no you can't. You can't be all over each other in here."

RB: "I can do whatever the fuck I want."

I threatened security on her, she backed off of Mister. I didn't even look at him. A few minutes later, Mister and RB left. Their friend stayed for about twenty minutes more, then walked out.

The next day, when I was back at work, another employee told me that "The Kids that were P.D.A.'ing in the skate park last night got caught."

"Caught?" I asked.

"Yeah, caught having sex in their car by Nick." Nick is the security guard.

"Wow."

I've lost all respect for Mister, but I texted him anyway. We talked for a bit, not about much, but enough for me to ask him if he maybe wanted to hang out sometime. He told me "My girlfriend won't appreciate that very much." I told him, "Yeah, she doesn't like me, but I dont' really know why. She threatened me."

He said, "That's my girl! What'd she say?"

I didn't respond. But sure enough, just as I was expecting, I received a text from RB on Mister's phone. She told me to "Stay the fuck away" and blah blah blah. I calmly responded something like this:

"I don't want your boyfriend. I'm sorry. We just used to be friends, that's all. You've got a great guy. Hold onto him."

I had decided to give up. There really wasn't any point. She said something else nasty to me, and I really just didn't want to hear it. Not after I had surrendered and told her that she'd won! I called her a "whiny little bitch" and said something else nasty (yet true) and she didn't text me again.

She did however, text my sister. My sister! She didn't even have the balls to fight with me! My sister easily won the argument, but I still feel like shit.

I deleted him on MySpace and his number from my phone. I lost a good friend after second grade, and now I can't even talk to Mister anymore.

Oh well.



Sad story.